e Harmony looks at this age-old debate Age is relative – someone may be 60 yet have the health, looks and vitality of a 40 year old, while some people in their forties seem ready to collect their pensions!
Age isn’t just about the time you’ve been on the planet, it’s about your attitude and approach to life.
The biggest problem couples with a large age gap experience is jealousy and insecurity, often with the older partner believing that their younger partner will one day be attracted to someone their own age.
It can make you feel younger to date someone younger but it can also make you feel older and more conscious of your appearance.
Nothing at all is to be gained from premature, opposite-sex involvement through dating, or for that matter, through the phone, dances, parties, or games kids love.
Financial, health and economic factors also change as we grow older and these can sometimes make child rearing more difficult in later life.
They usually hasten to inform me, “All his (her) friends are dating.” My quick answer is: When they’re married, and only with their spouse. Now back in the old days — the early 1980s — you met resistance for such a decision mainly from the children. You can’t wrap a moral bubble around them; they have to deal with life. A recent survey suggested that if a child has a first date between the ages of 11 and 13, he or she has a 90% probability of being sexually active during senior year in high school. Key factors to consider in granting any type of dating freedom are your child’s: • moral maturity • independence of thought • history of conduct in other social settings • strength of will • social judgment • choice of friends • responsibility toward schoolwork • respect for authority.
Seriously, dating age depends upon all kinds of factors, and varies from child to child, even within the same family. Never consider your neighborhood’s “average age” when making your decision. Parents used to expect instinctively to be challenged by their kids, especially in judgments of how fast one should grow up. If you make kids too different, they’ll feel like weirdos who don’t fit in. First date at age 14 leads to a 50% chance; first date at age 16, 20% chance. I figure if I make the list long enough, my kids won’t be eligible to date until they move out.
When someone of 30 is dating someone who is 50 the age difference may not seem particularly significant.
It will, however, likely start to become more difficult when issues around retirement or health problems arise.